End of the tunnel

I beleive in finding every possible oppurtunity and grabbing it.
I beleive that nobody is going to come to me & handover my share of happiness, success , fame to me.
I beleive there is just nothing that I cannot do & I beleive that hard work pays.

After having said all that I suddenly realise all these beliefs are gone by for me now, gone are the days when my eyes spoke confidence. I can feel the non existent pressure to perform, to perform what I dont know. Whom do I have to show my capabilities. I doubt anybody has any expectations from me......I am baffled & still wondering what went wrong, when did I take that one big wrong step?

I know that if I stop fighting with the surroundings then the surroundings are gong to get over me & I out-proving myself, success would be lost on its way to me. I have been fighting this for a long time now that I have worked, & now suddenly I feel what a heavy burden it is do continue to do so on an everyday basis.

When I look around me ...I see those eyes which once looked at me with confidence, hope, expectations...now somehow they seem to be very hazy to me...or is it I do not want to see the hopelessness in them...once they smiled on my achievements. Now I just want to close my eyes & plead my mind to stop thinking & lay down peacefully...

I wish I could be one of the characters of F.R.I.E.N.D.S...but how is even that possible...finally they all did good...so might be there is this hidden ray of hope....eh!! I wish whatever I thought came true. So many changes taking place around me ...the only thing which is constant is me..just me...all my aspirations are like those bubbles which the kids blow with the mixture of soap which look really look beautiful in the beginning & suddenly without even letting you know it would burst without leaving any trace....once in while one or two bubbles do exist for a longer time & the kiddos think its a miracle...I can just look for my share of miracle.

The best thing which suddenly has given me a new high is that I realised just now while writing this blog is that my life is perfectly goes with the first few lines of title track of F.R.I.E.N.D.S...here it goes

So no one told me life was going to be this way.
I have no job, I am broke, My love life's DOA.
It's like I am always stuck in second gear,
Well, it hasn't been my day, my week,my month, or even my year.


My mother warned me there'd be days like these,
But she didn't tell me when the world will bring me down to my knees!!!